Scared to Blink

On Friday, me and mom drove two hours to Abbotsford to pick up the Blink 182 tickets that they said could be picked up that day. When we got there, the box office was closed due to maintenance…Two hours wasted in the car, but at least gas was cheap out there! We took the highway home which shaved a lot of time off the drive but we had to take the toll bridge and we were ticketless. I wrote them on Facebook when we got home and asked them why they told me I could pick them up that day if they were closed for maintenance, which I assume was scheduled. They apologised and told me they could e-mail me the tickets on Monday. So Monday I got a hold of them and they e-mailed them to me with no issues. At least we were saved from taking another trip out to the boonies.

The tickets are pretty good. We are near the stage but on the opposite side of the building to the entrance doors. We are about 8 seats from the aisle on the one side which is stressful. With Twenty One Pilots I think I was 5 seats from the aisle and that was hard enough. I kept looking at the door to make sure it was still there. I have been stressing about this concert since we ordered the tickets. My last Blink experience was not very pleasant. I got there and was too scared to go through with it. I cried the entire way home. That concert was at a huge venue, about 60,000 people I think. This time it is at a smaller venue but it is still going to be 6500 people. Twenty One Pilots had 3000 but it was a smaller building.

My dilemma now is, do I keep the tickets, go there and risk freaking out and not going through with it, dealing with the heartbreak of failing again, wasting time driving out there, being let down by my own brain, wasting mom’s time because of course she has to come with me, or do I take the safe route and sell them. If I sell them, at least I got money for them right? The money would go to mom because she is the one that won the prize that we used to get the tickets. At least that way we get something from it. If I keep them and go and end up freaking out and leaving, we are left with nothing and I am just going to be miserable and left with that familiar feeling of failure but if I keep them and actually pull it off, it will be amazing. I will have conquered something that beat me down so many years ago. I will prove to myself that I am capable. Is it a risk worth taking?

I decided after some time thinking that I have to at least give myself the chance to succeed. I won’t know if I can do it unless I go and try to do it. If I fail, at least I have felt that feeling before and know what to expect. If I make it, it might be one of the biggest triumphs I have had so far in this lifelong battle against anxiety. I just have to try to remember that my mind is lying to me and try my best to not let it make my decisions for me. Like I said, I have to at least give myself the opportunity to succeed at this. Even if it is terrifying, I have to try. I might just amaze myself.

Concerts

I don’t know why I haven’t written anything in a month. Nothing to write about I guess. Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

I think it’s safe to say that the Twenty One Pilots concert got me hooked on live music. As stressful as it was, I had a blast. I now have four concerts coming up in three months. I’m going to Awolnation in August, Rob Thomas and Blink 182 in September and Alice Cooper in October (that one is mom’s choice). I realize that this is going to put a lot of stress on me in a short amount of time but I think I can handle it. As long as I don’t get sick for a month afterward like with Twenty One Pilots.

I just recently became obsessed with Awolnation. I knew he sang sail but I didn’t know I would like all of his music. After listening to his albums all the way through I got really into it. Lucky for me he is coming to Vancouver soon to a small venue. My cousin is coming with me to that one. It will be nice to go to a concert with someone other than my mom. Even though I will probably be twice as scared. Mom is going to drive me at least. I am hoping I can handle it. I have already sold out one of my cousins while trying to go to a Blink 182 concert. I don’t want to do that again. He should be awesome live.

Just recently it was announced that Rob Thomas (from Matchbox Twenty) is coming to the hard rock. That is just down the street from me so of course I have to attend. I used to love Matchbox Twenty. I don’t know any of his solo stuff but I hope he plays some of the songs from the old band. I guess I should listen to some of his new stuff…One thing that did piss me off about this concert is that the presale tickets were like 60 bucks. I didn’t buy presale because it included a 30 dollar subscription to the Rob Thomas fan club. So I waited until general sales happened. I was very shocked to see that the price for the same tickets (it’s general admission) jumped to 109 dollars overnight. I am still kicking myself for that! I hope it’s worth it.

I get another shot at a Blink 182 concert in September also. This is at a big venue, 6500 seats. It is still smaller than the last time I tried to attend their concert but it is still a huge venue. I have been able to look into the building on google and see the layout. Our seats are on the other side of the building from the doors which might be tricky for me. I guess all I can do is try. I like their new music but am kind of bummed that Tom isn’t there. I saw an article the other day where he said he left to investigate aliens. I wonder if he has found anything. I will have to wait and see what the new guy is like. Hopefully this is a success story and not a disaster like the last time. I won tickets for this so at least if I don’t make it, I didn’t pay for the tickets this time.

Alice Cooper is at the same venue as Twenty One Pilots. We have floor seats and aisle seats for that one. I won tickets from Live Nation for this as well and we used them to get Alice Cooper tickets because mom wants to see him. I just hope he doesn’t die on stage! Having said that, I hope no one in the audience dies either..I have a feeling a lot of old people will be there. I think I only know two or three of his songs? Should be an experience anyways.

I have a busy few months ahead of me. I hope I can enjoy them instead of freaking out. I am surprisingly calm about the concerts, except for Blink. That one is kind of freaking me out because I don’t know the actual details of it. I haven’t been able to map out every step of it like I would like to. I hope I can remember these concerts too. I don’t have a lot of memory of the Twenty One Pilots concert because I was so stressed. I am hoping I will be able to absorb more of these concerts. I just want to keep exposing myself so I am ready for when Twenty One Pilots come back to Vancouver. I am aiming to get floor seats for that..whenever it happens.

I will keep this updated with how I handle this.