Sold

The Blink 182 concert is tonight. It’s happening right now as a matter of fact. I’m sure that place is going insane with the opener…unless Blink have already taken the stage. I had tickets to the concert but after thinking about it, decided to sell them. I sold them for a few reasons.

Firstly, I was stressing out about it. Sure I was excited about it, but that is a huge venue for a band that I’m not absolutely in love with. I listened to their new album a while back and it had one or two good songs. Seems to not really be my type of music anymore. I do like some of their older stuff though. I’m sure they will be playing a ton of the old music as well as the new. Maybe if they were aisle seats I would have been more inclined to go. I had enough trouble at the Twenty One Pilots concert and that was a way smaller venue and I had sight of the exit the entire time. I have been trying a lot lately to face my anxieties and not let the fear stop me. By doing this, I have discovered that I am capable of a lot more than I give myself credit for. If I at least try, chances are I can do it. This just wasn’t really worth the immense stress for me. It would have been really hard on my body to sit through that. Maybe next time they will be at an even smaller venue.

The second reason is that quite frankly we can use the money from the sold tickets more than we can use a Blink concert. Things are tight right now (they always are) and money is better than the stress it would cause, that’s for sure. I tried selling them for more than they were worth (only $20 more) but was nervous that they weren’t selling so I lowered them to cost. I won them so they really didn’t cost me anything. It’s money in my pocket (well, mom’s actually). Once I lowered the price, they sold pretty quick. Still waiting on the money to come through from StubHub though. But I know PayPal is extremely slow. Hopefully it will come in this week.

The third, and most important really, is that mom has come down with pneumonia. She is coughing constantly, can’t sleep in her bed because of coughing and has been sleeping in her chair in the living room so she can breathe better. I sure as hell can’t drag her to a punk concert in a huge venue with people everywhere when she has pneumonia and can barely walk around without coughing up a lung. I got sick after the Awolnation concert (of course) and she ended up with it. She got a bit better and then all of a sudden got smacked with pneumonia. She seems to be really struggling with it, plus her coughing all night is keeping me up all night too.

Even though I have what I think are legitimate reasons for selling the tickets, I still feel a bit of FOMO. I feel like I should be there regardless of anxiety and that it’s a failure in the fight against it if I don’t go, even though there are reasons other than anxiety. Just something I need to get figured out for myself I guess. The last time they came and I chickened out at the door, I was devastated and was convinced that I would never get another chance. They have come back twice since then, to smaller and smaller venues. Hopefully next time they come to the QE or something. I will most likely get another chance and if not, it’s okay. At least this time, it wasn’t only my anxiety stopping me. I am trying to hold on to that thought.

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